Professional Weirdo Podcast

Where I research strange stories and tell them to you. Because, let’s face it, I’m gonna research this anyway and blurt it to someone, might as well be a willing audience. Some of these stories might get dark, morbid, murdery…. so listener discretion is advised.

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Professional Weirdo Podcast

Episode 12 - An Ancient Cackle

October 25, 2025 • Anonymous Narrator • Season 1 • Episode 12

Grab your broom and cauldron! We're talking about witches!

Songs for today’s episode:

Season of the Witch by Donovan
Growling Old Man and Cackling Old Woman / Pig Town Fling by Margaret MacArthur
Witch by Belly
Small Town Witch by Sneaker Pimps
Burn by King Woman

Sources:

Sound mixing performed by Brother Jay from The Rule of Scary podcast - check that out if you’re a horror movie fan! And hey! Thank you for listening to my stories. Keep it weird out there.

To find song recommendations for this podcast, check out the Spotify Professional Weird playlist

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5jIkaamOZlCwtd2peUk9lF?si=0238d524a374492d

Email me at professionalweirdopodcast@gmail.com

We’re back for another spooky-themed episode. I think in episode 4 - the one about hoarding - I mentioned that I have a lot of plants. And I was only counting the inside ones. I also collect outside plants. In my yard are transplants of irises, lilies, roses of Sharon, crepe myrtle, peonies, surprise lilies, and other old-timey perennials that were given to me by my mom. And some of those were propagated or pulled from my grandma’s house. And who knows where she might have gotten some of hers from. I can never move. And the funny thing about all this generous plant-giving is this: There’s a rule that when someone gives you a plant - you can’t thank them for it, because it’s said the plant will die. So you can thank the giver for the bucket or pot that holds the plant. But if you want to see those irises bloom in the spring, don’t speak your appreciation for them. This combination of flora and lore goes way back - the roots are deep, you might say. It’s a practice that seems ordinary enough, but in certain times and places, it might have gotten you burned at the stake.

This is episode 12 - An Ancient Cackle

The idea of a witch can be so creepy. One of the first scary stories I read as a kid that truly got me, made me pull the covers over my face at night, was one about a man headed to California with his prospecting partner during the gold rush. They had settled in by the campfire one night to sleep. Then the man woke to find a witchy hag bending over the prospector, her face inches from his, and when HE woke and saw her, he opened his mouth to scream, only to have her breathe the life out of him. Horrified by the death of his fellow traveler, the main character ran screaming, found later by a passing stage coach that picked him up and took him into civilization. He thought he had escaped, but the next night awoke from sleep to find the hag’s face hovering over his. He struggled to hold in his scream, knowing what would happen if he opened his mouth, until her ragged breath against his face and the delight in her eyes pushed him over the edge. His terror took over and the last thing he remembered was opening his mouth to scream. That’s scary, right????? Witches are so scary! But also, what about the witches in cartoons? The funny ones? The ones who unabashedly cackle, and who jump onto their broomsticks and clack their heels together, then rocket off with a few hair pins spinning in the air. I also really enjoyed when the cartoons would have the broomsticks backfire and cough, like they’re powered by some old engine. And that’s our rating system for today - 1 out of 5 broomsticks - whatever variety is your favorite - the sputtering cartoon engine type, or the gnarled, blackened, ancient broomstick that hums with dangerous power. Or a dust buster. It’s your call.

In Shakespeare’s Macbeth, three witches stand around a cauldron describing items as they toss them in. We’ve all heard it, at least the beginning - double, double, toil and trouble, fire burn and cauldron bubble. But let’s talk about the part that comes next:

Fillet of a fenny snake,

In the cauldron boil and bake;

Eye of newt and toe of frog,

Wool of bat and tongue of dog,

Adder’s fork and blind-worm’s sting,

Lizard’s leg and owlet’s wing.

For a charm of powerful trouble,

Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.

It sounds like some poor animals had to suffer for this, but here’s the thing - it’s plants.

Fillet of a fenny snake - there’s some debate, but many think this is a plant that’s sometimes called Snake’s Meat, or jack-in-the-pulpit.

Eye of newt is a mustard seed - small, round and a yellow. If you like mustard, you’ve been eating eye of newt sauce this whole time!

Toe of frog is a bulbous buttercup, known for its plump green stem.

Wool of bat is thought to be moss, which is kind of wooly and also found it dark, damp places, like caves.

Tongue of dog - we’re all feeling better knowing this is a plant, right? In this case, it’s a toxic plant called hounds tongue. At the end of the stems are clumps of purplish flowers.

Adder’s fork is talking about a small plant called a dogtooth violet.

The blind-worm’s sting - that’s another one that’s debated by historians. Some think it’s a poppy, which is sometimes called “blind eyes” and the “sting” may be because poppies are poisonous. But there’s also a plant called wormwood.

For the lizard’s leg - what climbs walls and trees like a lizard? Ivy.

And last we have the owlet’s wing. The guess is this could be either garlic or ginger, as both of these have those stubby stalks that sprout from the bulb or root, kind of like what a little wing would look like before it sprouted feathers.

This association with plants and witchcraft was a powerful theme during the witch-hunts. I think by now many people have heard the theory that midwives, or natural healers, were targeted as witches because they were threatening the business of established doctors. In a time when religion and a patriarchal society were so powerful, it was pretty dangerous to have skills or knowledge and be a woman. Who would pay for the local doctor when they could get a tea or tincture from the little neighbor lady with the herb garden. Yarrow - also known as soldier’s herb, once bound to a wound would slow bleeding. Elder berries made into a syrup would help with coughs. Garlic was used to fight infection and rid a person of parasites. Not a problem that we have to worry about so much nowadays. I hope. These healers may not have known that a plant was an antiseptic or how they worked, but somewhere they learned the properties and applications and that ability to affect someone’s body with plants, even for good, spooked people a little. And if they were midwives, they were tending to pregnant women and newborns in a time before our modern maternity care and hospitals. Childbirth is a dangerous business for the mother and child and during this time especially it could have very sad results, despite a midwives skills. The high mortality rate raised accusations that a midwife, as a witch, killed the baby, or would swap a healthy baby at birth to give to the devil, leaving a changeling in its place, which were often just babies born with birth defects. They also had insight into the private lives of the people coming to them - the midwife knew who was pregnant, and when they had gotten pregnant, and maybe, who had gotten them pregnant. Knowing secrets is also a dangerous business. And there was danger in doing your job as a healer toooo well. Historian Mary Kilbourne Matossian writes “The role of a healer was a perilous one, for people were afraid of his or her seemingly magic power over the living body. They might think that someone who could cure disease by magic could also cause it by magic.”

But there are other reasons people were accused of witchcraft, and particularly women. In fact between the 15th and 17th centuries it’s estimated that 60,000 women were tortured and killed as witches. Looking at those who were persecuted in the Salem witch trials, which we’ll get into, and comparing them to those who accused them of witchcraft, there are interesting items to note. You see, the accused had property and were financially better off than their accusers. In fact, some of that property went to the accusers after the trials. Typically in Puritan society, a woman couldn’t own property herself, but a widow could hold a property in her deceased husband’s place. And being unmarried for too long, even after the death of your husband, caused people to accuse a woman of having made a pact with the devil. So, a pretty quick way to grab some land was to accuse her of witchcraft. Also in Salem, a schism had recently happened in the church, with the accused supporting one minister while the accusers supported another. Other reasons people might be accused of witchcraft? According to one article I read, it said non-conforming personalities drew attention, especially the - quote - “odd-seeming, mouthy ones” - unquote.

Fast-forward to today, when a person can go buy smudging sage at 5 Below. It’s strange to think that things like scenting your pillow with lavender, or drinking chamomile tea to calm down before bedtime, because yes, please, any help in calming down is welcome! - that these things could have once been viewed as witchcraft. With deadly results. Let’s get into it.

Ursula Southeil was also known as Mother Shipton. She lived from 1488 to 1561 and her story is full of likely embellishments. It’s said she was born in a cave during a great storm and had been born with some physical ailments, like twisted legs, a large head, a hunchback, a long hooked nose, and bulging eyes. Instead of crying after being born, she cackled, and upon that, the storm outside calmed. Ursula lived as an outcast with her 15-year old mother for the first two years of her life, in the cave! What we know now is that in caves, minerals form shapes, like stalactites. But at the time people claimed these shapes were items that had been turned to stone by evil. And these two were living in the middle of it. After the two years, an abbot came to help, placing Ursula with a family and securing her mother a place in a convent. Despite having a place to live that wasn’t a cave, Ursula was still known in the community and shunned. She spent her time in the woods studying plants and was eventually valued in her town as an herbalist. For a brief time she was accepted and even married at 24. But two years later when her husband died, things in town soured again, with people claiming she had killed him. So, she moved back to her cave. People still sought her out for remedies and soon discovered she could make predictions. One prediction stated “Before Ouse Bridge and Trinity Church meet, what is built in the day shall fall in the night, till the highest stone in the church be the lowest stone of the bridge.” And it happened - a storm hit York causing the steeple of the church, or, the highest stones in the church, to break and fall. The Ouse Bridge was also heavily damaged, and to rebuild the wrecked portion, stones from the toppled steeple were used for the foundation of that part of the bridge. She even had a prediction that some say foretells the invention of the internet. She said “around the world thoughts shall fly in the twinkling of any eye.” Fortunately, after a life already full of persecution, she was looked on pretty favorably. English pubs were named after her, and even a moth is named after her. Although, it’s because each wing has the profile of the classic hag witch, so maybe that’s not really a great thing. Anyway, 3 out of 5 broomsticks!

John Dee lived from 1527-1608 in London England. He was a mathematician, philosopher, alchemist and had a heavy interest in science, which was brand new at the time. His interest in alchemy also had him studying the occult. He served as an astrologer to Queen Mary 1, which ended up getting him thrown into jail for a bit under the charge of being a conjurer. He toned down the occult stuff while serving Elizabeth I, being her scientific and medical adviser. Using his expertise in mathematical navigation and cartography, he advised on several expeditions. Feeling frustrated in searching for answers from the natural world, in his later years he attempted to communicate with angels to get his answers. He also felt that there was magic in math. It’s suspected that John Dee was the inspiration for Shakespeare’s character Prospero in The Tempest, as well as the character Dumbledore in Harry Potter. 2 out of 5 broomsticks.

Catherine mohn-vwah-zin Montvoisin, later nicknamed La vwah-zin Voisin, was a French woman who lived from 1640 to 1680. She grew up selling fortunes on the street, and after marrying a silk merchant and jeweler who was bad at business, she just kept up that grind, selling palm readings. She also practiced as a midwife and herbalist, selling love potions here and there. Her business grew so large that she outsourced to other women in the community. When the church began to scrutinize her practice, she claimed that God had given her these skills to help others. They were convinced. At least until they learned that she was peddling in poison. At that time another woman had been accused of poisoning her father and brothers to attain the family estate. This poisoning business unlocked a new fear in King Louis 14 who started having servants test his meals before he ate them. He also gave the Paris police free rein in finding and arresting those suspected of practicing this deadly art. In this high-pressure situation, the network of possible poisoners started turning on one another and La Voisin was accused and jailed. Instead of torturing her for confessions, the chief of police knew she loved wine, so just got her good and drunk. And kept her that way in the jail. And she told secrets. Turns out, the king had good reason to be worried. His mistress had been a client of La Voisin, first procuring love potions from her to win the king’s attention. Having successfully done that for 10 years, she was upset when a new woman began to move in on the king. And would you be surprised to know this new woman died soon after. This was a damning confession and led to La Voisin being burned at the stake at 40 years old. Rumors say she was very drunk during her execution. Let’s hope. 4 out of 5 broomsticks.

That clashing of politics and religion was happening all across Europe during the 16th and 17th centuries and from that grew a lot of superstition. And many witch trials. In North Berwick, Scotland, from 1590-1592 people from this small town were being accused and persecuted as witches. The estimated number is hard to pin down - I’m thinking because there wasn’t anyone left to give the count - but it’s believed to be between 70 and 200. And it started with a King. King James VI, the son of Mary Queen of Scots, and someone who was a bit obsessed with witches. He even wrote a book called Demonology about witchcraft and demon magic. So now he’s getting married to Anne of Denmark, and on his way to get her the storms were so powerful the ships had to turn back. Rather than blaming, I don’t know, the weather? He declared that a witch from North Berwick had tried to kill him by sailing into the Firth of Forth on a siv sieve and used her power to call the storm. His version of events was so well-shared that those witches from Shakespeare’s Macbeth that we talked about earlier had lines that borrowed from the King’s fear a bit. One of the witches says “But in a sieve, I’ll thither sail, and like a rat without a tail, I’ll do, I’ll do, I’ll do” and then she says she’ll cause a great storm. The other noteworthy thing is North Berwick was small. Across Scotland about 40,000 people where burned at the stake as witches, but for some reason this little town and it’s inhabitants saw some of the most violent and bizarre outcomes from the King deciding to point the finger to their tiny spot on the map. Devices of torture were used to pull confessions from the accused, and I won’t dwell on those details and make you squirm too long, but here’s a little trigger warning before these next couple of sentences - One device was called a scold’s bridle, which fit onto a person’s head, like a bridle on a horse, except this had a spiky metal piece that went into the mouth and kept a person from talking. Another device was called a “breast ripper” and, well, enough said about that one. And you could be suspected as a witch for all kinds of things- having red hair, or being left-handed, or having a visible birthmark. One woman named Agnes Sampson was particular singled out. She was an older widow who had been known as the Wise Wife of Keith for many years due to her skills with herbal remedies. When the King’s witch hunters grabbed up a local woman from the town and started to torture her for confessions, she gave Agnes’ name as a healer. The theory then became that Agnes must be the leader of this coven of witches, which was a heavy charge - not just witchcraft, but accused of trying to kill the King. She was arrested, kept from sleeping for multiple days, searched for “witches marks” which really could be any moles or scars, and of course, a scar on her neck was found as evidence. The King himself came to interrogate her. For a long time she held out, but it’s alleged that she finally confessed. Likely she just said anything to get it all over with. In her confession she said she had made a deal with the devil. He would help her, because she was a widow. And in exchange she had built a coven in North Berwick. They had conspired to kill the King, even trying to get articles of his clothing to work black magic charms. Her public execution was one of the first as a result of a witch trial. She was strangled by a noose and burned. And that was the beginning of the witch trials that afterwards spread across Scotland and Europe. Even hopping the pond into the new world. 1 out of 5 broomsticks because researching this story made me have to know about the breast-ripper.

In Roughlee Lancashire England there’s a statue of Alice Nutter. During the Pendle witch trials in Pendle, England, from 1612-1634, 12 people were arrested, one died in jail, 1 found not guilty, and the others were convicted and hanged - 1 in York and the remaining 9, including Alice, at Gallows Hill. They were accused of having brought about the death of 10 people in the area over the course of many years prior. Six of the accused came from one of 2 families, both led by women in their 80’s. The families were known to have been struggling, sometimes begging, and making money on the side through herbal remedies. In one family the accused included the matriarch, her daughter, and her 2 grandchildren. In the other family it was an older mother and her daughter. And many of the accusations stemmed from the families pointing fingers at each other, and eventually at people within their own family. And once they started being questioned (under torture), the confessions came, as well as others in the community being accused, including Alice Nutter. Alice was a stand-out in this crowd because she was a wealthy widow. She had run into a group of people later suspected within both families while she was iin town . This meeting was said to be one of the events that was supposedly a coven meeting. She wasn’t giving another reason for her trip into town, but It’s suspected that she was secretly Catholic and was trying to attend an illegal Good Friday Catholic service, but she wouldn’t confess this to avoid incriminating her fellow Catholics in the community. 3 out of 5 broomsticks.

Anna Goldi was born in Switzerland in 1734 and it was a tough life. Her family was poor, and as a teenage she went to work as a maid. In her 30’s she got pregnant, but only hours after the baby was born, it accidentally suffocated in its sleep and she was blamed. She fled, finding a job elsewhere, and then one event changed everything. Needles were found in the milk of her employer’s daughter and Anna was fired. The part that wasn’t widely shared at the times is she was involved with the employer’s husband, and on her way out she threatened to reveal the affair and ruin his reputation. Then, weeks later, one of the employers daughters claimed to have vomited metal pieces and the employers accused Anna of witchcraft. But it would seem the fervor that drove the witch hunts through Europe was losing steam. Anna’s formal charges weren’t witchcraft, but instead poisoning. It didn’t make much difference thought, as she was captured, tortured until she confessed, and executed by being decapitated with a sword. For that unsatisfactory ending, I give them 2 out of 5 broomsticks!

The area of Trier Germany, in 1581 felt that people were menaced by sterility of their crops. So when Johann von Schonenbeg, the archbishop of the diocese of Tier came into town with a mission to root out the Protestants, the Jews, and the witches, it seemed to be easily accepted that witchcraft was to blame for the community’s struggles. No one was safe as the archbishop’s venom fueled those in a position of power and leadership to sweep through the area. No one was safe, as just being accused was as good as a sentence - among those condemned were a Judge, associate judges, 2 burgomasters (similar to a mayor or magistrate), parish priests, rural deans, men, women and even children. Between 1587 and 1593, 368 people were burned alive for witchcraft. 22 villages were impacted and by 1588 two villages were left with only one female each. 108 were of nobility. And meanwhile there were those in the area who gained fame and money from the spectacle. Notaries and inkeepers became rich and the executioner rode a blooded horse which was normally reserved for nobles in the court. In one writing it said “Plowman and vintner failed - hence came sterility. A direr pestilence of a more ruthless invader could hardly have ravaged the territory of Tier than this inquisition and persecution without bounds.” And who knows how long it could have gone on, but eventually the population was dwindled, and the area too poor to sustain those who had been getting rich off all of it. 1 out of 5 broomsticks.

Winning the prize for the dumbest way to identify witches goes to a priest in Torsaker, Sweden had two boys at the entrance of the church looking for invisible marks on people’s foreheads that would show that they were witches and report back. This was after the witch-hunt fervor had been sweeping through and Lutheran priests were told to report on other witch-hunts during their sermons, so people were really getting worked up. And these two boys were. They were in such a frenzy to point out witches that one accidentally pointed at a woman who turned out to be the wife of the priest. She promptly slapped him across the face and he retracted his claim, saying the sun had been in his eyes. And the use of children as witnesses continued, with the priest even dunking the children in icy lakes in the winter, whipping them, and threatening to boil them over a fire if they didn’t agree with his claim that local witches had been stealing them away to make them attend a sabbath of Satan. It should be noted that local courts and churches weren’t meant to rule on executions, but to report to higher courts and wait for confirmation from their superiors. But the system of checks and balances wasn’t working here anymore. The account of the trials was actually told by the priest’s wife herself, dictated to her grandson to record sixty years after the events. To her memory, 100 were accused. Some women who were pregnant were not executed, and others had managed to escape. But for the rest, after a sermon 65 women and 6 men were led to the place of execution. These next words are how the priest’s wife describes it:

Then they began to understand what would happen. Cries to heaven rose of vengeance over those who caused their innocent deaths, but no cries and no tears would help. Parents, men and brothers held a fence of pikes. They were driven, 71 of them, of which only two could sing a psalm, which they repeated when they walked as soon as it ended. Many fainted on the way out of weakness and death with, and those were carried by their families up until the place of execution, which was in the middle of the parish, half a mile from all the 3 churches and called The Mountain of Stake.”

She went on to say that because they didn’t want to soak the wooden stakes, the prisoners were decapitated nearby, then their own families removed their clothes, lifted the body onto the stake, and lit it on fire. Then everyone went home. Higher courts heard what had happened and demanded that no further executions were to take place, and over time the priests were told to tell everyone that all witches had been expelled forever so no further witch hysteria would take place. And on a last, sad, note - the two boys who had been told by the priest to point out the women were discovered with their throats cut. I really wanted something to be said of the priest, but nothing there, short of his wife sitting down years later and telling their grandson to document what a shithead he was. 4 out of 5 broomsticks.

And now we arrive in Salem, Massachusetts in 1692. Let’s set the stage, because this context is important. We’ve already heard about all the witch trials that had been happening over in Europe. Word of this had traveled into the new world, which was already stressed. Colonists were struggling to make their homes there and the strain on resources had caused bitterness and feuds between families that lived there. Two families in particular were making a power play for leading the village and establishing influence over the church there. Also, King William’s War had started 3 years prior, when English Monarchs started a war with France that happened in the colonies. The fall-out from this fighting was a lot of disruption with war refugees moving into the area and furthering the strain on resources. One of the more successful colonists and one of those feuding families, John Putnam, had previously lived in Barbados and made an offer to Samuel Parris to come to Salem Village and be minister in the Village Church. After heavy negotiations, Samual Parris accepted and arrived in 1689 with his wife Elizabeth Parris, his daughter Betty who was 6 years old, his 8 year old niece Abigail Williams, and his slave Tituba, a young woman who had been born in Barbados.

Upon assuming the pulpit, Samual Parris, who was Salem Village’s first ordained minister, made quick work of blaming all the strife within the community on the devil. This paired well with the talk from Europe about witches, and was effective in filling the community with distrust and paranoia. The proverbial pyre is prepared, now all that’s needed is a spark. In February 1692, during what was becoming a bitterly cold winter, Parris’ now 9-year old daughter Betty became ill. Her symptoms were odd. Some described her as having fits - she would complain of pain, contort her body, run around, and climb under furniture. Historians suspect many causes for what was happening here - boredom from being closed up during the winter, stress, child abuse, epilepsy, or a combination of these things. Another interesting suggestion from Linda Caporeal in a 1976 article in Science magazine describes a condition that affects people who have eaten rye that’s infected with ergot, a fungus. An important note -LSD is a derivative of this ergot fungus.) Rye was a major source of food in Salem, used to make bread or cereal. The condition from eating infected rye is called Convulsive Ergotism and causes people to feel a crawling sensation along their skin. They’ll also have violent fits, vomit, appear to be choking, and, yes, hallucinations. Then Parris’ 11-year old niece Abigail Williams started having the same issues. The doctor was called and different treatments were attempted, but nothing helped. Soon after, playmates of the girls because displaying the same issues. This would be 11 year old Ann Putnam (again, from one of those large families caught in the feud), 17 year old Mercy Lewis, and Mary Walcott. Eventually the local doctor, clearly not a man of science, gave up saying it was a case of bewitchment. Thanks, doc. This gave legitimacy to the rumors that the devil was working in the area and because it was heavily rumored that witches attack children, it was readily accepted that there must be witches in the community. Poor Tituba was already suspected, as she had shared native folklore from Barbados with the girls and these stories included talk of omens and voodoo. But things became really complicated for her when a neighbor came over with a suggestion. This triflin’ woman’s name was Mary Sibley and she told Tituba that this bewitchment could be reversed by baking a rye cake with the urine of the afflicted in it and then feeding it to a dog. I imagine she said something like, “I’ve done my own research on this…” She went on to explain that witches used dogs for their magic and this would feed the spell back. Tituba followed orders and made this witch cake. And 4 days later she was arrested, along with 2 other women - neither of them Mary Sibley! One of the others was Sarah Good, who was a homeless beggar who stayed with whoever would shelter her and had a 4-year old daughter. The other was Sarah Osborn, an elderly woman, also living in poverty, and who (I’m paraphrasing this) was just plain over it. People said she hadn’t attended church in a year and was quarrelsome. More girls in the community because to act up. It’s been suspected that especially the girls in the Putnam house had time to coordinate their stories, and with their behavior seen by the other girls, it was easy to mimic this supposed devilish affliction for the others. The core group of girls because to formalize their accusations against the women, saying they could see visions of them, and that their spectral forms would attack the girls. As part of the charges, the women were to be receive the formal accusations in the local pub - what is happening? Okay, I know, that’s as good a meeting house in colonial times, but pretty surprising for a bunch of puritans. Actually, no, Puritans, as it turns out, are just as twisted as anyone. Because hundreds of people from the area showed up so it had to be moved to the larger, actual, meeting house to accommodate. The. Crowds. This is like their Netflix true crime special. And the young accusers were brought in and began flinging themselves about and putting on a show whenever one of the accused women were in the room. Then other villagers came forward with quote evidence unquote. Animals had been born deformed after these women were around, their butter had gone bad after the women were there - well maybe you just make bad butter, Mary? When the accused were asked if they’d seen satan and if they were witches, they all denied it. But after repeatedly being asked these questions and hearing the damning stories of their community, Tituba broke. I don’t mean she confessed to true events, I mean she broke and made up some stuff because she knew she was fighting a losing battle. She said she’d met a tall man in Boston with white hair who had asked her to sign his book (well, obviously that’s Satan, right?) and that other times he appeared as a dog, a pig, red cats, and yellow birds. She said she, and others, were witches and had flown around on broomsticks and there was, in fact, a conspiracy to destroy the Puritans. She was able to turn her story around by saying she had earnestly tried to see help from Reverend Parris but the devil kept her from being able to get help. No shade on Tituba, she was desperate here. But her confession did 2 things - it put some other women in a very bad spot, but also legitimized the witchcraft fears, motivating those on the hunt, and quelling the resistance from anyone in the community that wasn’t buying into the witchcraft paranoia.

Like a pack of puritan Mean Girls, the accusers started building out a burn book and pointed fingers at more women in the community, including Sarah Good’s 4-year old daughter. Who was arrested and jailed along with her mother. A mother of one of the girls joined in the accusations (trying way too hard to be the cool mom). Things really started snowballing, with more and more accusations causing the jail to fill to capacity and pretty much everyone freaking out. When Martha Corey was accused, who was a respected member of the church, rather than doubt all of it, it whipped up fear with people thinking if Martha could be a witch, then anyone could. Following Tituba’s desperate grasp for redemption, another of the accused, Deliverance Hobbs, confessed to being a witch and riding a pole in the air. Then the Governor came back into town from England. To establish order he determined they’d need to act quickly and created a special court o try and process the accused. Many of these men had led efforts in the war that had taken place, as well as fighting with local Native Americans, and all their efforts had not gone well. As part of a way to defend themselves, some were determined to blame the struggle on an alliance between Native Americans and the devil. So we’re not starting out with impartial judges here.

The first trial was for Bridget Bishop, who was over 60 and owned a local tavern where she allowed people to drink cider and play shuffleboard, even on Sundays. People saw her as gossipy. Well, yeah, she owns a tavern. More members of the community were brought in to describe how they’d had bad luck when she was around, they had seen her specter stealing eggs or showing up in their bed at night, and then poor Deliverance and another prisoner who had by now confessed, were brought in to confirm that Bridget was one of the other witches. And of course the Mean Girls all agreed she had been one of the witches tormenting them. Unaccused women from the church examined Bridget’s body and found what they felt was evidence of a witch’s mark. From all this, she was found guilty. I want to take a minute to feature a sound mind in all this chaos - Nathaniel Saltonstall had been assigned as one of the judges. He was so disturbed by all of this that he protested, was outnumbered, and he resigned from the court. Bridget Bishop was taken by cart to Gallows Hill on June 10, 1692 and hanged. And then things started to really pick up. Unsurprisingly, the rival family in town that had feuded with the Putnams, had members accused by the girls and the “cool mom” but it was hard work, as they were not such easy targets as Bridget Bishop the tavern owner. One of them, Rebecca Nurse, had actually been found not guilty, but Chief Justice Stoughton, ordered them to go back and reconsider what he felt was her confession, but it had been unclear because she was old and hard of hearing. They returned with a guilt verdict and she was hanged. Another man, John Proctor, began to protest all of this. He was also a tavern owner and said - this is shocking - he thought the confessions were happening because of the mistreatment and torture the accused were having to endure, and that members of the community where caught up in fear and drama and that the trials should be moved to Boston. This guy should have been put in charge. Instead, he was also accused, including testimony from a slave that ran a tavern for John Putnam - yes, the man who hired Parris as the pastor and was the head of the rival family doing all the accusing. Also, what’s with all the pubs and taverns??? I thought these were Puritans! Anyway, poor John Proctor, voice of reason, was found guilty and hanged. They charged his wife as well, but she was pregnant so not executed.

Then accusations fell on the former minister, George Burroughs. He had moved to Maine (this is where someone says “he doesn’t even GO here!”) but it didn’t save him. The Putnams claimed he had used his alliance with the Devil to undermine the soldiers fighting in the war efforts and that it was his fault for the failings of the many men who sat on the judges’ panel. 19 year old Mercy Lewis, one of the mean girls and a frontier war refugee, claimed she had seen him fly, and that he had promised her all the kingdoms of the land if she would join the witches. Burroughs was brought to Gallows Hill, where he refused to confess, even if that meant the only way to save his soul. Instead, he spoke the Lord’s Prayer perfectly which caused a stir in the crowd as it was said witches were not able to do that. It didn’t help and he was hanged.

In the end, 20 people were executed, -19 by hanging and one man by being pressed under heavy stones because he wouldn’t enter a plea, hoping that be refusing, his farm would remain with his sons. At least 8 people died in prison - 2 of them infants born in prison to accused women. 4 people had been accused by escaped Salem before being captured. 5 people were found not guilty and released. Tituba, and Sarah Good’s 4-year old were among the 6 people who were pardoned. And 2 dogs were hanged, also accused as working with the devil.

What finally slowed this down? For one thing, critical thinking! People started doubting that there could be so many witches among them. Reverend John Hale said, " It cannot be imagined that in a place of so much knowledge, so many in so small compass of land should abominably leap into the Devil's lap at once." Just a lesson here that if a bunch of people are telling you to be afraid of something, but you, and maybe no one you know has ever DIRECTLY been impacted by that thing, it’s not worth getting hateful about it. Some of the elite in the surrounding community who had gone to universities, because to speak up (a little late in the game here, but okay). One man named Increase Mather, the president of Harvard at the time, published a work called Cases of Conscience which stated it “were better that ten suspected witches should escape than one innocent person should be condemned” and he declared that the courts should rely on what he called “spectral evidence” aka the Mean Girls saying spirits of people were pinching them. Another minister suggested the Devil himself could have been creating the specters of innocent people in order to see them condemned. Someone passed along these writing to the Governor. Some think he took these into consideration. Others think he was motivated by the fact that his own wife had been accused and had to endure questioning. But finally he ruled that spectral evidence - visions, dreams, things other people couldn’t see a corroborate, were not allowed as evidence. In the next batch of 56 accused, only 3 were condemned. He dismantled the special court and pardoned any others being held as witches. ONe of the other judges, far too late, spoke up about getting swept up and apologized. Several of the accusers also came forward saying they were sadly deluded and mistaken. Even Reverend Sam Parris and admitted some mistakes in judgement and lost his job. The Reverend replacing him, Thomas Green, entered with the goal to repair the community after all of this destruction. The Governor blamed it all on the man he had brought in to lead the panel of judges, William Stoughton, but that man was not sorry and was mad at the Governor for shutting it all down. And, I’m sad to say, he became the next Governor of Massachusetts. Opinion on the whole affair had largely shifted within 5 years. There was a day of fasting ordered, acknowledging the event as a tragedy. 2 years after than the court declared the trials had been unlawful. And 9 years after that the colony restored the rights and good names of many of the accused and paid restitution to their rightful heirs. 250 years after the events in 1957 the state formally apologized and a resolution exonerated the accused, listing them by name. All except for one woman, Elizabeth Johnson Jr. No one knows why for certain, maybe some clerical confusion between her and her mother who had the same name, but a plucky group of students and their teacher at North Andover Middle School wanted to get to the bottom of it in 2019. They researched Johnson, finding that her grandfather had described her as “simplish” and that she was 22 when she and several members of her family were arrested. She had confessed, but was thankfully one of those who were released by the Governor when he started to come around to reason. She was 77 when she died. The group of school kids not only researched her, but also how to write a bill, get the notice of legislators, presenting the research, and how to get an official pardon for this last victim of the Salem Witch Trials. And they did it. In July of 2022 the exoneration was inside a state budget signed by the Governor. 5 out of 5 broomsticks.

And that brings us to today, where everything is great and no one is persecuted unjustly ever. Let’s drink chamomile tea by the gallons. Or maybe add something stronger. I’d say “pick your poison” but I don’t want to get accused of witchcraft! Ah, let’s face it, there are probably hundreds of reasons that would condemn me. Also, I would absolutely let people drink cider and play shuffleboard on a Sunday.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, like a chant, thank you for listening to my stories. If you know other weirdos, please tell them about this podcast and if you haven’t already, adding a rating and review on whatever platform you use for podcasts would be very appreciated. I try to keep the fun going between episodes by sharing items on instagram related to the topics we’ve covered. My handle is professionalweirdopodcast. You can also email me at professionalweirdopodcast@gmail.com

Songs I recommend with today’s episode can be found on the Spotify playlist I made to accompany this podcast. For each episode I’ve done or will do, I’ve pulled together a few songs. The ones for this episode are:

Season of the Witch by Donovan

Growling Old Man and Cackling Old Woman / Pig Town Fling by Margaret MacArthur

Witch by Belly

Small Town Witch by Sneaker Pimps

Burn by King Woman

I’ll list these, along with the link to the playlist, in the show notes.